Texting and IM

1 What Are Texting and IM?

Text messaging (texting) and instant messaging (IMing) are forms of digital communication that are done from mobile phones and computers.

Text messaging is done with a mobile phone. It allows you to send a short message from one phone to another. If the phone has a camera, you can also text pictures right from your phone. You can even text from a computer to a mobile phone, if you want to.

Instant messaging requires an Internet connection and computer (or sometimes a phone, too) and allows you to have longer conversations through a series of messages in a chat window. Services such as Windows Live Messenger, AOL Instant Messenger (AIM), or Yahoo Messenger are common places where we teens chat. You can also video chat or play fun games with the person you are talking to. Most social networking sites offer instant messaging, too.

How Popular Is Texting?

While text messaging for all users is mostly more popular than making or receiving phone calls, it’s much, much more popular with us teens. As of the end of June 2008, a typical mobile subscriber in the United States sent or received 357 text messages per month, compared to placing or receiving 204 phone calls according to Nielsen, the media research company. Nielsen’s research also shows that the typical teen mobile subscriber in the United States (ages 13 to 17) now sends or receives 1,742 text messages per month, compared to making or receiving 231 mobile phone calls.

2 How Do You Do It?

TEXTING
Once you understand how to text on your mobile phone, it doesn’t take much time at all to get started. Every phone is a little different, so you just have to figure out a few commands on it.

Here are some steps to get you started:

1. Enter the contact you want to text. You can add a new phone number or select someone in your contact list.
2. Select the option to “create a new message.”
3. Using the number keypad or keyboard, start typing your message. Don’t forget to brush up on your chat lingo—we put together a really teen-friendly list for you here.
4. When you’re ready, hit send.

Congratulations, you’ve just texted!

INSTANT MESSAGING
When you want to IM, you need the right software program on your computer, such as Windows Live Messenger. You can download programs for free at the provider’s Web site. Some providers offer a “web-access” version if you don’t want to or can’t install anything on the computer you are using. This may limit some functions, but you are still able to chat with your contacts.

If you don’t already have a user or screen name, you can easily sign up with a service and create one. Then, you can start adding friends and family to your list of contacts, often called a “buddy list.”

If you have a webcam and a microphone, you can use the video chatting or voice feature to communicate with your friends. You can also personalize your IM window by selecting an icon picture or background design.

Blocking features on instant messengers allow you to prevent people from being able to contact you. This feature is really important to use if someone is being harassed or cyberbullied.

3 Why Do You Text and IM?

Texting and IMing are way more convenient! Teenagers tend to text and IM more often with friends and talk to family members in person. Texting is easy to use when you are in a crowded, noisy, or less private place where it’s hard to hear or talk. The messages we usually send are things like greetings (“happy bday!”), reminders, checking-in with our parents (“I’m here safe”), giving directions, and other just-for-fun conversations.

Sometimes teens find it easier to brush something off with a text message. Even breaking up with someone using text messages or IMs can happen. But the responsible thing to do is to tell that person face-to-face.

We like to IM when we’re home chilling out, bored, or happen to be online at the same time as our friends. It’s a great way to take a break and relax. We even have friends who use video chat to connect with their overseas relatives, some of whom are in the military.

Here are three features we love about IMing:
1. It’s faster than email.
2. You can save and view your whole conversation.
3. It’s easy to have multiple conversations at the same time.

Just for comparison, when our parents were our age, they basically called their friends on their home telephones, talked to them in person, or passed notes in school. Now, teenagers keep in touch using texting and instant messaging. Schools today have rules about mobile phones that range from not allowing them at all to only permitting their use when students are between classes in the hallways.

4 Text Lingo You Should Know

We use these text and chat terms all the time. Try them yourself!

5 Expert Advice From Parry Aftab

A serious issue currently in the news is ”sexting,” the sending of nude or sexual images using cell phones by young people. Just as “textbullying” is a subset of “cyberbullying,” “sexting” is a subset of “sexing,” which involves the use of any interactive device such a webcam, a digital camera or video, game device, or other piece of equipment.

What can concerned adults, especially parents, do?

First, if your teen in involved in a sexting incident, seek legal advice quickly. In some cases the same laws used to convict hardened child molesters are being used to convict minors who send these images.

Second, be vigilant and realistic. Teens may be starring in more videos than last Halloween’s costume competition. And it’s not just girls. Boys are sending pictures, too.

Start by asking what devices girls carry around or use that have photo or video capture features, or can be used to send images or video to others. This can include webcams, Xbox and Wii, cell phones, DS and PSP handheld gaming devices, Playstation 2 and 3, video, and still image cameras.

Most of all, let them know you care and are paying attention. Our recent studies show that teens have a “didn’t ask, so I didn’t tell” approach. If you want to know what they are doing online, you have to ask. Do a “tech spot check” regularly for any stored images on their mobile devices, and include laptops, the family desktops, portable/flash drives, media cards and discs. Keep up-to-date with their social network profiles and online accounts, including instant messaging profiles.

Share Jessie’s story with them. She was a teen who took her own life after her “private” nude image, sent to a boy she was seeing, was shared with the world. Before she gave up trying to fix her reputation so that she could walk around school or town without being called names, she appeared in shadow on TV pleading with other teen girls to think twice before doing the same thing. She didn’t want them to face what she was facing. Sadly, while others may have learned from her message, her own torment didn’t end. She was barely 18 when she committed suicide.

Use the news as a conversation starter, not to launch a lecture. Our kids don’t react any better to lectures than we did at that age. And teach them to respect themselves enough to withstand peer pressure, especially from the boys and girls they “love.” If you need help, visit www.WiredSafety.org.

6 What Girls Need From Adults

Adults give teens a lot of grief for texting ALL the time, but what adults and parents need to understand is that texting has become a huge part of our culture. Most parents don’t realize that texting is a big part of how we communicate, and that it doesn't mean we don't know how to communicate in the real world. Give texting a try with your teen and you’ll start to see the benefits.

Misunderstandings can and do happen over text messages and IMs. Teens can suddenly get a picture, message, or reply that might not make any sense, that is mean or offensive, and that can cause confusion or conflicts with friends. Parents can help by being aware and supportive, not surprised or angry, that sticky situations can happen. Remind us to “stop, block, and tell” a trusted adult if harmful or mean messages are received.

When it comes to the family cell phone plan, believe it or not, we want to be involved in the decision-making process. This will give us a sense of responsibility for our actions by making us part of the process from the start. Here’s a prime example of what not to do: telling us our plan has only 400 minutes or texts per month when it’s actually an unlimited plan. When we find out stuff like this later, maybe from our older siblings, it will just make us upset!

7 You Know You've Got It When...

• You can send a text or IM message, especially one that uses some chat lingo!
• You know how to block or manage your online contacts.
• You can play a game or use video chat with your teen.
• You understand what tools girls are using online or through mobile providers, and how they are using them.
• You review your mobile phone plan together and discuss what works best for the whole family.